How to Overcome Perfectionism

by Amanda Abella  - June 15, 2021

“Perfectionism is placing undue pressure on ourselves but not in a positive way as it gets you out of your brilliance.”

Today we’re talking about how to overcome perfectionism in sales.

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Having a Script for Sales

What do I say when? Or how do I respond to this? Can you give me a script? Can you give me a sales formula? Yes! I can give you a script and a formula that works.

However, I’ve noticed that there’s a hangup people have with scripts and formulas. They are so obsessed with getting the script and formula perfects that they bumbled the sale.

When you are making sales, you need to know what to say and how to handle objections. In addition, other sales components know how to close, pitch, and pre-qualify, all of which we cover in Persuade to Profit.

If you’re hung up on trying to be perfect, you won’t close any sales. And unfortunately, women struggle with perfectionism.

When your script doesn’t work, it may be because you’re trying to follow a script that honestly doesn’t go with your personality, or maybe something is going on internally that’s causing some blockages for you. Then I see salespeople become obsessed with creating a script, selling ideally, and getting results.

The Negative Pressure of Perfectionism

Perfectionism is placing undue pressure on ourselves but not in a positive way as it gets you out of your brilliance. When you’re worried about being perfect, you’re not thinking about your client or potential client. You’re not thinking about their needs, and you’re not present. When you’re so focused on perfectionism, you break rule number one of sales, which is that the sale isn’t about you; it’s about helping the other person.

A book I commonly recommend is Overcoming Under Earning by Barbara Stanny. And I believe perfectionism comes up and why we have that conditioning as women.

Happiness is About Hard Work

It’s very dangerous when you base your happiness on a result you don’t necessarily have control over. For example, you have control over how many people you call and how many sales calls to make, but you don’t have control over whether they’re going to say yes or not.

When someone tells you no, it’s now about how you respond. There’s a skill set required to respond to that, but it’s not manipulation, and it’s not coercion because you never took someone’s choice away. When you have perfectionist tendencies, it will fuck up your sales if you want people to like you.

Over-delivering and Overworking to obtain Perfectionism

If you struggle with perfectionism, you may over-deliver overwork; you’ll have loose boundaries. You’ll come into that sales conversation with the vibe of “please hire me.”

When people talk about money, the sales conversation can get uncomfortable when the conversation gets financial then because you’re afraid of offending somebody, and you want to be light. So you don’t do your job, which is handling their objections and making sure they’re getting their problems solved.

Lisa says, “When I made the big switch of not making any sales to making cells was when I figured out that a sales call was just like being a mother.” She continues to explain, “You hold the space, you see their brilliance and you kick them in the butt when they need to, and that’s all you need to do. It wasn’t about me being liked or what I had to offer, it was all about them, what they wanted and their pains and saying, I am the person who can hold you accountable.”

“It’s important to understand the difference between being liked and respected because I know there are definitely areas in my early career, particularly where my first business, where that fear of not being liked was prominent.” explains Lisa.

I see this keeps people so small in so many ways. They’re not as visible as they should be in their businesses. They’re not handling objections the way that they should be. They’re not following up because they don’t want to come off as annoying.

Perfection Fallacy: You’re Responsible for Other People’s Feelings

You are not responsible for other people’s feelings. They are grown as adults and responsible for their own feelings. This realization can be a huge game-changer that can help you start making money in your business.

How Perfectionism Can Get in the Way of Closing a Sale

If you’re so focused on your perfectionist tendencies, you’re entirely focused on yourself instead of the prospect, which is backward. Instead, all the energy should be placed on the opportunity to try and solve their problem.

When you’re worried about following a script to perfection or being concerned about how you’re coming off, you lose sight of your goal. And the only reason people buy anything is if you’re solving a problem for them. But if you’re so focused on yourself and your perfectionism, you can’t focus and solve their problem. You are staying in a scarcity mindset that you have to be perfect to get the money.

The Difference Between Mastery and Perfectionism

There is a difference between mastery and perfectionism. Mastery is when you have the skills and knowledge to accomplish an end goal. The only way to get to mastery is through disciplined practice.

When you focus on mastering a skill set, this takes the pressure off of you.

I’m not focused on perfecting the thing; I’m focused on mastering.

We have found that with our clients that giving them sales targets is a good place to start.

Perfectionism as a Badge of Honor

I know many women struggle with the thinking that you have to do everything your damn self like somehow that’s a badge of honor because you struggled through it and you did it all. You juggled all the plates instead of asking for help because you feel you have to do it right. I see it all the time where women refuse to hire help or ask for help because they feel like they have to do everything themselves. Otherwise, they’re not valuable.

If you’re not sold on you, if you’re not sold on your worth, there’s no way you’re closing anybody. Period. It’s not happening.

And validation doesn’t come from other people. If you live your whole life waiting for other people to approve of what you’re doing, you’re fucked.

Believe you’re worthy and know that you can receive it. Then, with diligence and daily practice, you will believe in yourself.

Whatever you have to do to make sure that vibration of worthiness stays high, do it.

I take five hours in the morning to take care of myself before I jump into my workday. I know not everybody can do that. I’m still at a job working seven days a week, but I’m holding that vision.

Create Your Reality Around Holding Your Vision

I know it’s going to happen. I hold the vision, and I start making decisions. As if I’m already there, I’m already starting to train my mind to be like, you are a winner, and you are a wealthy woman, and you deserve this. Seeing yourself in that space, start asking yourself, how is this available to me? Because if it’s available to other people, it’s available to me too. There’s no difference between me and other people who’ve accomplished a similar goal.

Shifting Your Identity to Overcome Perfectionism

There is a shift of identity that needs to happen to overcome perfectionism. It’s powerful because you’re going to an entirely new vibration that attracts the right people and the right opportunities.

Putting Perfectionism Aside to Make Growth Mistakes 

You have to make mistakes to grow. It’s how you learn. The problem is that we get hung up on our mistakes because we’re wired for perfectionism. And this one is both in men and women, the fear of making mistakes because this concept is ingrained in us as young school children.

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