{MMYH Ep. 87} How To Bounce Back From A Setback

by Amanda Abella  - June 25, 2019

Today I want to talk to you about how to bounce back from a setback. I recently did an episode which was all the ways I have failed in my business and it was inspired by the new people who are just finding me for the first time and they see all the great stuff I’ve done, but they haven’t seen everything it took to get there. 

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And part of the purpose is to provide a more realistic expectation of running an online business and not just running an online business. I think it really comes down to anything big that you want to do in life. There are going to be setbacks. 

Setbacks Are Inevitable

I’m going to be really frank with you, I’ve seen a lot of people fail. There are lots of people that started this journey at the same time that I did. I saw them give up. Setbacks are inevitable. But it’s just a matter of learning how to manage them and learning how to bounce back from a setback.

I think a lot of people want to avoid risk. They want to stay comfortable. But the reality is that’s not the world that we live in, and that’s not where fulfillment lies. The moment you stop growing is the moment you start dying. And when you start growing, yeah, there are going to be setbacks. But, whether you decide to stay the same or you decide to go after what you want, there’s going to be setbacks either way. So if there’s going to be setbacks either way, you might as well just go after the shit that you want.

Reframe Your Ideas About Setbacks

So I think the first thing we need to do is we sort of need to reframe the idea of setbacks and realize that they are a part of life. This is one of the best ways to bounce back from a setback. Realize that setbacks are going to happen whether you stay the way you are because you’re trying to avoid risk or whether you go after what you want.

So you might as well go after what you want. Learn how to deal with it. Learn how to trust yourself a little bit more. I think another way to reframe it, and I’m about to get a little woo here, but one of the things I’ve noticed is the moment someone puts their stake on the ground is when it’s the hardest. The moment someone says, “I’m going to get my shit together. I am going to build this business. I’m going to get out of debt. I’m going to raise my income. I’ll start taking risks and I’m going to bet on me,” that’s when setbacks really start happening. 

One of two things happens depending on the person. The heavens open up and everything gets so much easier for them. That’s one thing that happens, but for some people, shit hits the fan. I have a theory. And that theory is, the universe is asking you how bad do you want it. Now, the universe likes it when you play with it. Put some skin in the game. Put some money behind your words, put some action behind your words. The universe likes that. However, sometimes, what ends up happening is you get met with challenges. And it’s just a season and you have to get through those challenges. Those challenges are going to make you doubt whether or not you made a good decision.

Realize It’s Temporary

Setbacks are going to happen. Life happens. People disappoint you. Unexpected things happen that you didn’t think were going to happen. You hadn’t planned for it. Of course not. How could you know? You’re not a fortune teller. We want to have so much freaking control over everything and that just ends up holding us back in a lot of ways because we’re trying to avoid the setbacks and we’re trying to avoid the difficulties, but they’re going to be there no matter.

Problems are going to exist no matter what. Setbacks are going to exist no matter what. So, we have to start learning to sort of embrace that instead of getting all up in our feelings. That doesn’t mean you don’t get all up in your feelings. I mean, I’ll have a setback and I’ll get up all in my feelings and I let it out. But I’m only out for a couple of hours. But I see people have a setback and they’re out for days, or weeks, or months, or they just straight up quit. Because they don’t have enough self-esteem within themselves to get out of it. And they don’t have enough discernment to realize, “Hey, this is just a test right now.” 

There Will Always Be A New Challenge

There are problems, there are challenges, there are issues that come whenever we’re growing. No one ever said growing was easy. But the thing is that, as you start trusting yourself to get through them, and you start creating that emotional wherewithal, that’s where the magic happens. And that’s when you start learning how to trust yourself. And that’s where self-esteem comes from.

So the next time you’re going through a setback, you could be like, ‘Oh my God, woe is me.” And have your moment of that, maybe a couple of hours, get the feelings out, feel them and get them out. But then you have to get back up. That’s where success lies. The ones who get back up are the ones who are successful. That’s the kind of grit that people need to have just in life in general. So that’s how to bounce back from a setback. 

Resources that are mentioned or add value to this episode:

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